| Ponding |
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| Blog Category |
| Written by Ulka Athale |
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The origin of the ritual of ponding is shrouded in the unrecorded obscurity of Japalouppian history. Who can truly remember precisely how or when the very first camper was immersed in the hallowed waters of the pond? Being a Japalouppe veteran, I can, however shed a little light on this very fundamental part of camp life. I remember way back to the long-gone era when the area outside the office was actually the girls dormitory. Which is why the old girls loo is where it is. One stormy summer day, strong gusts of wind blew the roof away and that was the end of that dormitory. Anyway, back to the pond. The big boss decided that campers needed a more solid roof over their little camper heads and the new girls dorm came to be. Having done that, the chiefy chief decided that the place was in dire need of beautification. And not just beautification, but pondification to house koi fish. Fish, apparently were the Feng Shui / Zen way to bring peace to his horsey realm. So the big guy in the office proclaimed “Let there be a pond, and lo and behold (eventually) a pond there was. Replete and stocked with beautiful orange gold mythical koi fish. There was just one small flaw to this magnificent endeavour... cats eat fish. (Also if fish were the solution to world peace, then the world would have been one huge aquarium... but thats off-topic again). Yes my friends, indeed, since the dawn of time, since even before the creation of the pond, or since the foundation of Japalouppe itself (collective intake of breath... no way, not even before the creation of Japalouppe itself).... yes since even before the holy japamole itself.... cats have eaten fish of all shapes and sizes. And the koi in the pond were just sitting ducks (metaphorically speaking of course- fish can’t be ducks or vice-versa, not even the Bombay duck which is actually a fish). Ducks and fish apart, well, the cats ate the koi.... and the balance of the realm was thrown out of proportion. To return to the pond again. The balance of the realm was outta wack and the scorching summer heat was rising. The loss of the fish had unexpected consequences – the cats needed more time to get a hold of the fish. Which meant they spent more and more time near the pond. Which meant the dogs could get closer and closer to the cats. Which in turn led to the cats and dogs fighting, making a lot of noise just outside the Big Fish’s room itself. So the Lord of the holy japamole and his instructors were sleep deprived through the long summer afternoons. After which they had to go out and face their ultimate fears everyday – the chattermonkey childers. Children are meant to be seen and not to be heard.... unfortunately the childers (brutal cruel 21st century distortions of children don’t know this) persisted in asking the brave knights maintaining law and order a series of increasingly silly questions. Noone is quite sure about when the breaking point came... but the pressure had been building up slowly throughout March and April... the cats eating the fish, the dogs chasing the cats, trying to fall asleep before the electricity goes, being woken up by meowing, yowling, barking and splashing.... and finally the stick that broke the donkey’s back – the ultimate childer question – Hold your breath for it “Why is Dodo black?” “Was his mother black?” “Was his father black?” And so on and so forth. The Big Cheese’s trusty Sir Knight, could not bear to watch his damsel be distressed by the incessant infestation of childers. Seeing her on the verge of tears (frequently followed by rage which he would have to face) he could bear it no longer. Picking up his mighty whalebone whip, he vowed to restore the true balance of the land. Trusting his right hand man, the chiefy, arose from his slumbers. The two strode into the wilderness of the childer-fillled outer paddocks. A strong whiff of unwashed brattiness arose from some of the assembled childers. Steeling themselves to deal with them firmly, but politely, their composure was decimated by one last question. “Why is Dodo tall?” squeaked a smart alec. The anger over the fish, the cats, the dogs, the heat, the power-cuts all bottled up were all released as in one single motion, as if they were two bodies sharing one mind, the big B and the roaring R picked up the childer-devil and in one seamless motion swung him into the pond.... in which he landed through the mess of the childers, dogs, cats and fish..... As they say, the rest is history. I personally think the rest was sheer genius. The frequent, surprise arrivals of bodies involuntarily flying through the air and landing in the water scared the cats away. Which led the dogs away. The threat of ponding kept the questions away and the knights of the realm could sleep in peace once again... In its own way, the pond did finally bring peace and prosperity to the landalouppe! Ponding has since then developed far beyond an unsophisticated chuck into the water.. But as Kipling says – thats another story.
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Comments
its nice to read and interseting...
u plannin to be an author or something ?? cuz your writing style's awesome
btw i did witness two incidents of "ponding"
now i kno why ;P
and yes i agree it is really interesting...
I never knew this!
thanks its dam cool.....
not one, but TWO people threw me in for NO apparent reason!
Its hilarious!..
I got ponded just once because couldn't stop laughing!
=P